What Recovery Does (and Does Not) Look Like
When I decided to go to my first recovery meeting in June 2025, I was desperate to find the solution to my lifelong weight problem.
I hoped the people there would teach me how to drop 100 pounds in a single year (and keep it off), love to eat raw vegetables, go on hundreds of dates, become rich and famous, and never crave sweets again.
HA! What a joke. – big eye roll –
Instead, I found people just like me who struggled with their weight, body image, relationships, spiritual connection, and other substances.
Except… they were happy?
By the end of my first meeting, I realized that recovery didn’t come in a vial wrapped in a bow, didn’t mean finding the perfect diet or workout plan – and it definitely didn’t come from TikTok Shop’s most trendy and latest fitness gadget.
It came from the shared experience, strength, and hope of every person sitting in that room.
My First Recovery Meeting
Picture this – You're sitting in the front passenger seat of a car, your mind is racing, your heart is pumping, there are little beads of sweat forming on the corners of your forehead, and your breathing is shallow.
This was me as my sister drove me to my first* recovery meeting. I was terrified I would be judged, be the fattest (and ugliest) person in the room, and be told the same old solutions to my weight problem.
But I was desperate for something NEW – I wanted the cure.
Although stressed, somewhere deep down (VERY deep down) I knew I was in the right place at the right time as I walked across the parking lot and into the meeting.
When I sat down, everyone said “hello” and “welcome” with big, goofy, and excited smiles. Everyone knew each other’s names, chit-chatting like old pals before the meeting started. An unfamiliar sense of community, acceptance, and love washed over me, and the meeting hadn’t even started yet.
I guess I expected everyone else to be as miserable and desperate as I was in the days leading up to attending the meeting. I was so surprised to see such friendly and happy people who also claimed to have suffered from compulsive overeating.
Whatever was making them smile so much, I wanted a slice.
A member bravely shared their story of what their life was like before recovery, what brought them there, and what their life is like now. I can’t remember the member’s name or the specifics of their story, but I swear, they were copying the thoughts and feelings straight from my brain! I was amazed at how seen I felt.
I cried like a baby. I chose to share that I was desperate to find a new way of thinking and living. I couldn’t keep obsessing over my weight and food anymore. I was tired of being so out of control and perpetuating a cycle of behaviors that kept me isolated, delusional, and self-conscious.
Every person listened completely, never interrupted me, and no one tried to force comfort on me. For the first time, I was surrounded by people who knew how to simply shut their mouths and be supportive without trying to “fix” me.
I finally had some hope.
Where I’m at Now
Abstinence from compulsive overeating and other disordered eating behaviors found me on July 22nd, 2025, and I am grateful to say I am still abstinent to this day. By engaging with people who have the same illness, reading tons of literature, listening, following a meal plan, removing the food fog, surrendering, and acting on the suggested solutions of others, I have learned the following:
Recovery Is Not
A cure.
A diet plan, calorie-counting club, or weight loss regimen.
For “normal” eaters. (Read my post on “Normal vs. Abnormal Eaters”)
Easy.
A promise to lose weight and/or become sexy.
Taking half measures.
Making excuses.
A test of willpower.
A linear path.
About the food.
Rigid and unforgiving.
A substitute for professional care.
Affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine.*
For a limited amount of time.
Recovery Is
A daily choice.
A proven and workable method that arrests the illness of compulsive overeating (and other disordered eating behaviors).
A full-fledged, life-long commitment, taken one day at a time.
A plan of action.
Simple.
Daily continuous effort.
Becoming free from the obsession with food and weight loss.
Creating boundaries with food, yourself, and others.
Owning up to mistakes and shortcomings.
Total honesty.
Options/solutions.
Giving back.
Becoming open-minded, stable, and at peace.
Sanity.
Progress, not perfection.
Finally accepting and loving yourself as you are.
Letting go of self-absorbed behavior and gaining a genuine interest in others.
Simply having the willingness to change.
Living life in the present, one day at a time.
Is Recovery Worth It?
Honestly… Some days, I resent the fact that I am committed to never overeating again. Some days, I really miss the feeling of stuffing my body until I can’t breathe, tasting certain foods, or the fleeting warm, fuzzy feeling of comfort they gave me. Some days I crave my binge foods with a force so strong, I get nervous to enter the kitchen!
But what I have now is a set of tools that I’ve never had before and options I didn’t think would ever be available to me.
I have access to a fellowship of people who know what it’s like to be me and who are willing to answer my calls.
I have literature that replenishes my hope when my well begins to run dry.
I have a plan of eating that keeps me structured and sane.
I have meetings that ground me and bring me back to the present.
I have more opportunities to step outside of my selfishness and be there for others, gladly and wholeheartedly.
And I have a higher power* who lovingly does for me what I cannot do for myself.
Most importantly, though, I have abstinence. I have freedom from the control of food, diets, weight loss, the scale, loneliness, and self-absorbed behavior.
My abstinence has given me so much more time and space in my mind to focus on what is truly important. Hell, I wouldn’t even be here writing this if it weren’t for my abstinence! My life has turned into an existence I always believed was only meant for others. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be where I am today, and being abstinent is to thank for that.
So…is it worth it?
For me, 1,000%! For a lot of others in recovery? They would also likely say yes, too. However, forget me, and forget everyone else for a second, and ask yourself, “Do I have a desire to stop compulsive overeating or using eating disorder behaviors?”
If you said yes, and you do, in fact, have a willingness, that is all you need. Where there is a will, there is a way.
The hardest part is the next step – walking your ass through the doors of a recovery meeting* or reaching out for help.
Notes:
First* - I say “first” because this was the first meeting I went to willingly and for no other reason than being desperate for help. I mentioned in my “Welcome Post” that I had been introduced to recovery in the past, and the “real” first time was around age 15 when my dad made me attend. The 2nd time was because I needed to tell the weight-loss clinic counselor I was getting help for my eating disorder to be approved for weight-loss surgery. Part of me found some help the 2nd go around, but I still believed Weight Watchers would fix me and that “I got enough information, I can take it from here.” How hilariously delusional and cocky I was!
Affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine.* - This was copied directly from the website of the recovery program I attend. If you are curious about this path of recovery but are worried you would be buying into some cult, don’t worry. This route of recovery is made up of many people from all different walks of life who just want to stop their disordered eating. This program has no stance on ANY outside issue - their primary purpose is to help people stop compulsively eating. That’s it. Submit a form on my Contact page if you want more information.
Higher Power* - This form of recovery is spiritually based, NOT religiously oriented. I do not belong to any religious doctrine. I have faith in something larger than myself that guides me, wants what is best for me, puts me in the right place at the right time, and does for me what I cannot do for myself. But it has no name at this time and is not affiliated with any specific religion. Having faith has been a huge reason for my success in recovery.
Meeting* - If you want to find the same recovery meetings I also attend, please email me. I must protect the anonymity of the program/members, and I am not a spokesperson or poster child of this program; I would put that information here if I could. What I can tell you is that there are meetings all over the globe. If you cannot attend an in-person meeting, virtual meetings are available. Most of them are conducted over Zoom and can be attended using your phone, tablet, or laptop. These meetings saved my life and could save yours, so don’t pigeon-hole yourself into excuses as to why you cannot attend. Read my post about “Overcoming Recovery Meeting Anxiety” for motivation!
I am a big advocate for the recovery program I have chosen, but there are plenty of other resources for help if the path I have chosen does not feel like something you want to pursue. I can understand that the lack of medical intervention can make people feel uneasy about attending a program that has no affiliation or opinion on anything medically related. If you are one of those people, I would look into the National Eating Disorder Foundation. They have Zoom meetings you can attend and lots of other resources to help! Poke around on their site, give someone a call, and ask your questions! I also have a post titled “Different Forms of Recovery” if you want to be directed to other resources.
Either way, I don’t care which route you choose, just don’t stay silent!